I Guarantee You've Never Read This Before: The #1 Difference Bet/ Abuse Victims & Those Who Aren't

Preface

I'm going to start including snippets from my real life. Real-life examples, real-life conversations, real-life drama. All names will have been changed to protect those who wish to be anonymous.

02/26/22

So perfectly said, n plz plz remember that just bec/ u don't choose to take a road I show u, DOES NOT MEAN that u have to be embarrassed to talk w me or feel awkward bec you've convinced yourself that I must be sitting here judging you for "not listening to me". Bec that's exactly what I would think if roles were reversed 🤣. This may come as a surprise, & I'm kinda letting you peek behind the veil, but as a coach, my "goal" isn't, "ok, I gotta get Layla out of this abuse as fast as I can by making her leave ____ ASAP". No. What I DO try to do as fast as possible is help you see your true worth, help u build your self-esteem n self-love, bec/ what took me 40 years to figure out, is that the one thing all of us abuse victims have in common, is a lack of self-worth. In fact, I'd go as far to say that the #1 thing that sets abuse victims apart from those who never experience abuse, is that lack of self-worth. Because-- now check this out girl, it's gonna blow yo' mind! Lol -- on that fourth date, when the guy is acting like an asshole or on month number three when he starts yelling at us for w/e or that first time we get the silent treatment, ppl WITH self-worth WALK FUCKING AWAY saying, "See ya, lame-o" while ppl w/ NO worth, ohhh we smile and say, "Oh, that's ok, apology accepted and thx u for the flowers." 🙄🙄🤯🙄🤯🙄🤯🤯. I mean, RIGHT!?!?! Am I right or am I right?!? 🤣 I can even hear ur sweet little voice from 1997 saying that!!!! Lmao and me, TOO!! OMG, how many times I did that, I can't even count. And I bet my dumbass even went around telling all my girls how sweet of a guy I had for bringing me flowers, completely missing the fact that they were "sorry I abused you flowers"!!! 🙄😂🙄 ohh girl... life's such a hoot, ain't it?? And this is why I am so motivated to help ppl find an easier way. The marketing tho, getting ppl to listen, to take that seed is the challenge. That's why I wanted to talk to you so badly, bec/ if you can help remind me what it's like when you're still in it before you're ready to walk, I can use that with how I word things. So I still wanna talk to you about the other time, n maybe together we both can pull some parallels that will help both of us in our own ways. I just don't want u to think I'm judging you bec/ I'm not. I stayed w my psychopath for 2.5 years after figuring out he was gaslighting, lying, n cheating: I know the place where you're not ready to go no contact- I know it all to well, my girl.

Ok, so to conclude this short novel:

As your worth builds n you strengthen your self-love, which is the ROOT of this issue n so many others that you'll begin to see on ur own, guess what is naturally going to happen? Your interest or attraction to the abusers in your life is going to naturally fade away, all on its own. Each day, as you work on your worth, you start loving yourself more n more and you'll start realizing that you are the heroine of your own story, and one day you'll be like,

"Hey, fuckwad, shut the fuck up you dumbass, you aren't going to talk to me like that or you can get the fuck out. " and his eyes will get wide n he'll be scratching his head like, "wha-wh-what did she say?

Who is this woman n where is the girl I used to manipulate so easily?" And then that's when the real fun starts. You start learning how to set boundaries n when you start verbalizing these boundaries from places of strength n power, oh Layla, the look on these people's faces is absolutely PRICELESS! You FINALLY start getting it n you feel your strength rising inside you like adolescent bones turning to steel, n the more you stand up n protect yourself because you realize you LOVE the woman you are bec you've been through so much and you just want to cradle the little girl inside you who got hurt when she was an innocent & you'll fight to protect her-- the more you stand tall in ur TRUTH that no motherfucker is ever going to hurt her again bec/ you've now grown into this ferocious, big bad Mommy dragon who is going to obliterate any-fucking-body who dares to try to hurt you or your little girl ever again!! Yeah!! And then you can start wearing black leather EVERYTHING n buy a Harley, and tattoo yo' face-- ok ok I'm getting carried away. You get my metaphors, right? Ok, cool, I love you, mama, one day at a time, sometimes it's one deep breath at a time. You got this.