The Abyss & The Road Less Traveled By

At the forefront, I am avid

researcher

observer

analyzer

of people, personalities, disorders- specifically, NPD, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

After spending three years with a sadistic, narcissistic, ex-gangbanging, ex-con and enduring some of the most heinous forms of abuse, my world split open and for the first time, the veil of illusion was removed from my sight and I was able to see. The lies that had been fed to me since birth, that attacked my self-worth and self-image, appeared to me for the first time as falsehoods, rather than truths. As I scanned the last twenty years of my adult life, I began to see patterns in the friendships I chose, the men I dated, and in my career sector, all based on a completely misguided foundation of secret self-loathing that I wasn't even aware of.

That narcissistic relationship from 2015-2018, while one of the most painful experiences of my life, remains the single most important and productive event of my life.

I have only gratitude left in my heart for the man who hurt me so deeply, and to this day, I believe that I had to be pulled down to the abyss, which is so far past rock bottom, through hell, on the other side of the Demon's Dungeon, and then and only when, you can tell that you're well on your way to the blazing, molten center- that's where the abyss is, where the bottom feeders crawl with no legs, no hair, and big, sunken eyes: this is the lair of the gaslighting, manipulating, pathological lying, serial cheating, abusing, psychological game playin’, modern day vampires we know as the

sociopaths

psychopaths &

narcissists

And if you're not careful, and most of the world isn't- you will get dragged down there so fast, and by the time you even figure out what's going on, it's too late. The damage is done.